Bebe – Page 15 – The Secret Life of Bebe

Christmas cheer

December 4, 2013December 31, 2015Bebe2 Comments

How can I explain my apathy towards Christmas in a way that all you yuletide-loving nutjobs will understand it?

Imagine you lived in a world where most other people were crazy in love with some pastime that just didn’t rock your boat. Gran Turismo 6 or lawn bowls or horse racing or underwater polo. Something you understand in principle but have no personal passion for. Now imagine that these people insist that you must love that thing. There must be something wrong with you if you don’t. They even call you names for not being passionate about the same thing as them.

This is how I feel about the insistence that I should love Christmas. I can’t manufacture feelings I don’t have – Christmas is just not part of who I am. Over time I have moved from a discomfort and dislike of the holiday to a general apathy about it.

Why discomfort? To say I come from a dysfunctional home would be an understatement. And Christmas is ‘all about family’ (although it seems to me, is actually all about spending money on random stuff you don’t need). Christmas made me feel like a freak as a kid. It was just one more thing that made me different – my weird family. And I don’t recall ever getting Christmas gifts from either of my parents. Maybe it happened, I just don’t remember it. Understand, I am not traumatised by this – it is just another part of my history that makes me who I am.

When my kids were younger, I had a tree and did the present thing. I didn’t want them to miss out on that magical event everyone raved about. I wasn’t especially enthusiastic, and we did less as they got older.

Now that I am married and part of a Christmas-celebrating family, I accept I need to do the Christmas Day family thing. I’m happy to spend time with these people any time they invite me around, so I participate enthusiastically in the eating of ham etc. In my mind, I’m just hanging out with my family – it has nothing to do with Jesus or Santa or whatever.

In the last few years there seems to be increased pressure from people around me to ‘stop being a grinch’, and ‘get into the spirit’. I truly and honestly don’t understand why. You don’t miss out because I’m not enthusiastic about Christmas. I’m not asking you to keep your Christmas cheer away from me. Celebrate away. I just prefer not to get so involved personally. I don’t feel any need to decorate my house and buy you gifts. Think of me as Jewish if it helps.

A note: I get a similar reaction to not celebrating my birthday, although most people are less vocal about that. It would seem it is far more offensive to not celebrate Jesus’ birthday than my own. I find you people very weird for this.

This one time when we built a roller rink

October 23, 2013October 24, 2013Bebe3 Comments

You might have heard already, but Stephen and I have been building a roller rink. It’s an outdoor pop-up rink in a space that was left when the Christchurch Convention Centre was demolished.

The project has been about two years in the making. I conceived of the idea some time after the Christchurch TEDx conference, which took place in May 2011. We were still reeling from the February earthquakes, the city was closed and life was pretty bleak for most Christchurchians. This TED event was like shining a light into the darkness for me. People spoke passionately about the opportunity that the disaster represented to our city. It was hard to take in at the time, but it got an idea brewing in the back of my mind (it’s like the wild wild west back there, you wouldn’t want to go in alone).

The speaker that resonated most for me was Coralie Winn. Her idea wowed me. Here was an everyday woman who had taken an idea and run with it. I’ll let her speak for herself.

Coralie’s development, the Pallet Pavilion, gave me the courage to come back into the centre city for a look. I was too scared to go near it before this, but my curiosity about what was developing in pockets around the place – pop-up spaces – drew me back in. So awesome. And it was the Pallet Pavilion that encouraged me to think my idea just might work.

I wanted to build a small-scale, outdoor roller rink. First, there were lots of questions I needed to answer:

How would I fund it?
Who would help me?
Where would I build it?
How would I design it?
Where and how would I get supplies?

One by one, my questions were answered.

I was initially helped along by the amazing, fabulous, inventive people at the Ministry of Awesome, via their Awesome Evening, and Coffee and Jam. They gave me an outlet to speak about my idea so I could get feedback and encouragement. I started to think I could actually do it!

Oh the irony then, when after a pretty demoralising meeting with CCC about funding, I decided I wasn’t going to get the money and I should just give up. I spoke at a Coffee and Jam session about my lack of success, and what I might do next. And the VERY NEXT DAY I got the email from CCC that I had been successful in securing $12,000 to fund the build.

Things started (slowly) falling into place. The funding came through from the Transitional City Projects fund; I started Roller Restart with a group of friends and interested people; LiVS helped me find a site, and then a bigger, better site in a great location – a stone’s throw from the Pallet Pavilion; and I got advice from a range of people on construction (honestly, I started with Google and Youtube: “How to build a deck”), including F3 Design. Shane at Mitre 10 Mega Hornby was very helpful in getting me a great deal on materials.

Then it was just a matter of waiting for the the weather to improve enough to start building. The weather has been less than ideal. We built for a couple of weekends in the rain, and then the last two in the beating sun. Not that I’m complaining. I love being outside in the elements, no matter what they are.

And we are almost finished! I have blisters on my fingers, sore arms, sun-burned shoulders, and bruises all over my shins, but it’s been an amazing experience. Sometimes Stephen and I are there by ourselves, hammering and drilling and scratching our heads about levelling. Sometimes we have people pop in and out, doing their bit to help. It’s been hard giving up every weekend to do exhausting and sometimes frustrating work. When I get discouraged and think it’s never going to happen, I put my head down and get on with it, because it HAS to happen. Our community roller rink is tantalisingly close.

Come visit and have a look – we are at 100 Peterborough St (between Colombo and Durham Sts).

Taking a break ... dreaming of completion — Taking a break … dreaming of completion

Raro

September 20, 2013Bebe1 Comment

I haven’t blogged about our recent trip to Rarotonga yet! We got back ages ago and I’ve been flat-tack since then. My life keeps me very absorbed, never a dull moment!

In the week before I went, someone jokingly asked why I’d want to go there (they know me well!). I’m not keen on sand, salt water, beaches, have trouble finding food I can eat, don’t drink or party. A tropical island doesn’t really appear on my top 10 list of things to do. I’m more of an action-packed adventure kind of gal. No roller rink, no ice skating … what will I do with my time?

But I did have a good time. I was surprised to find some nice little cafes. I loved the motorbikes – zooming around with no helmet, free as a bird was an awesome feeling. I liked the beaches (unusual for me). Looking out my bedroom window the first morning was surreal. Picture postcard perfect.

Of course, the company is what really made the holiday. I love that a huge group of us can meet in some random location and there we all are – the people I’ve known all my life – familiarity in a strange place.

I don’t think I’d go back again though, lovely though it was. It’s nice to tick it off the list and know that it’s not my kind of thing.

Never give up

August 26, 2013August 27, 2013Bebe1 Comment

A long time ago I made a commitment to myself to try and do some kind exercise every day.

Some days, it’s easy. Other days, like today when I’m tired and still sore from yesterday’s session, it’s hard.

And on these days, when I debate in my head “will I, won’t I, go to the gym”, getting there and getting it done feels like a huge achievement. I always feel better when I go. It feeds my body and my mind.

And there is nothing quite like the relief of being done!

The joys of home repair, part 2

July 10, 2013December 31, 2017BebeLeave a comment

So I got a call from the lovely Ganella yesterday. She called at 12 noon to ask if she could come round to visit right now.

I was at work, I explained.

She pushed: “How about at 12:30pm?” It would be in her lunch break, so the least I could do is pop out in my lunch break too.

Oh fine. I agreed to meet her at 12:30pm. So I finished what I was doing and raced home, making sure I was early this time. She was three minutes late (but who’s counting, other than her). It turns out she’s German. In my mind, this explains a lot.

The meeting took about five minutes – I explained in person what I had been saying in emails for the past six months, and showed her what needed to be fixed. She said she’d organise someone to do the work, we shook hands, she left. No reference was made to the phone conversation, no apology was forthcoming. But whatever. I just want our house fixed and signed off so I can stop thinking about it.

So here’s the thing. Is it reasonable for me to be slightly annoyed that she expects to be able to pop around at a moment’s notice? What does she think I do with my days? I can’t be the only homeowner she deals with that has a JOB. I did explain to her that I had to take time off work every time someone had to come over to fix something, or when they call a meeting to discuss our work. She didn’t seem at all concerned about this, but it is really starting to irritate me!

I’ve encountered a similar attitude with most of the contractors I’ve had to deal with. They seem genuinely surprised and sometimes annoyed that I can’t be at home during the day for them to pop over. Am I missing something here? Maybe I should start suggesting we meet at their place, just so they get the point that they are at work, JUST LIKE ME.

What’s the solution? How do other people manage this problem? What do people do when they can’t just leave work at a moment’s notice to let someone into their house to do repair work?

The only solution I’ve come up with is to leave a key and hope they don’t rifle through my undies drawer while I’m not there. Once I even left a key in the letterbox and $300 on the bench and just trusted a contractor (who I’d never met) to do what we’d agreed. He was actually incredulous that I was so trusting, but I didn’t have much choice. And he did a great job, so phew.

The joys of home repair

June 28, 2013July 10, 2013Bebe3 Comments

Okay, well I am gobsmacked.

I arranged to meet with my project manager from Fletcher’s EQR (New Brighton Hub FYI) at 11:30 to sign off work that begun December 1st last year and is actually still not quite finished.

I arrived at 11:33, I figure I’m still within a 5 min window of “they may be late due to traffic etc.” (which I was). No one was here. I waited until 12:30, figuring maybe they were running really late. Then I called the Hub to see what happened and maybe reschedule.

So I spoke to a Community Liaison person (I think Ganella?) who said she was here at 11:30, stayed 5 minutes, then left. That can’t be right, I think. We must have just missed each other. So whatever, I’m not going to argue about 5 minutes, we need to reschedule.

So she launches into a tirade about how I am wasting her time and she is not prepared to reschedule with me at this time, and how she has bent over backwards to help me out and unlike me she doesn’t make people wait for appointments, so she has to go. And then hangs up on me.

Now, if you know me, you know that I am very polite when dealing with people over the phone. I understand they have a job to do, and they are not trying to make my life difficult on purpose. I wasn’t rude, I didn’t yell. I even asked for forgiveness for the 3 mins I was late if she could just reschedule with me.

Now I am sitting here thinking WHAT THE ACTUAL?? Let’s think about this. I’m wasting her time when it has taken us SIX MONTHS to get sign off for the work on our house and it isn’t EVEN FINISHED YET?!?! She has bent over backwards to help me when I have never actually met her, and have emailed asking the work to be finished at least five times over the past six months (extremely politely every. single. time. BTW).

And who the fuck is this Ganella person anyway? I thought I was meeting with my project manager Adele and the builder Steve. But actually, had I been palmed off onto some community person who was supposed to be … smoothing the waters because our job was taking an unreasonable time to get finished?! She needs a new job title.

So now what I have is an unfinished house, and Ganella telling me that I can have sign off when it suits her to come and see me, but she won’t tell me when. And look out if I’m not home and wasting her time again. Because obviously I just sit around at home all day waiting for EQR people to come over. It’s not inconvenient at ALL to take the afternoon off work REPEATEDLY so I can meet EQR people and discuss why my job’s not finished, or to let tradespeople in so they can do one of the many jobs on the list and then come back again next week.

So yeah, I’m gobsmacked.

Also, it made me cry. Not cool.

It’s a derby life

June 7, 2013December 31, 2017Bebe2 Comments

I’m going to my first derby bootcamp this weekend in Blenheim. It’s going to be awesome, and exhausting by the looks of things!

Saturday:

9:00-12.30 – Training

12.30-1:30 – Lunch

1.30-3:00 – Training and skills

3:00-3.30 – Break

3.30-5.30 – Scrimmage

Sunday

10:00-2:00 – Scrimmage tourney (open to public)

HOLY MOLY my everything is going to hurt at the end of this…

Keeping up

June 1, 2013Bebe2 Comments

I’ve been trying to blog at least once a month, but to be honest, there hasn’t been much new to say. Lately my life has descended into a whirlwind of work, roller derby, gym sessions, family time, ice hockey, housework, coffee dates and sleep. So let’s talk about that.

It might sound like hard work to some people, but I love having a busy life and I’m not very good at going slow. Sometimes when I’m running from activity to activity I wish I had more spare time. But the reality is that after a couple of hours sitting around at home, I’m ready to do something more interesting.

From what I gather, some people need quiet time to rejuvenate. I reckon I’m the opposite. I’ve been that way for a long time. When I was younger, people would tell me it wasn’t good to be so busy, that I should be careful or I’d burn out. I used to listen to this advice – I struggled against my desire to do a million things at once. But then I’d feel like I was missing out on things I really wanted to do. More recently, I’ve paid less attention to that advice – I’m busy and happy.

The trick is to find the balance. I do get over-tired and it’s not fun when I have a meltdown (just ask Stephen). This usually happens when the things I want to do clash with the things I need to do, and I try and do both. Then sometimes it gets a bit out of hand. Case in point, every hour of my day last weekend, Saturday and Sunday, was accounted for. I didn’t have a moment to spare. I couldn’t have one of those every weekend. But this weekend will be more low key, so it balances out.

The most important thing to me is that I always make room for my family. As much as possible, my whirlwind world revolves around Stephen and the other important people in my life. Luckily Stephen is always up for an adventure so we get to experience life in the fast lane together. I’m having the time of my life.

Let the fun times roll

April 25, 2013May 6, 2013Bebe1 Comment

Stephen and I went to our first roller derby bout in 2008. At that time it was new to Christchurch – the Dead End Derby league was formed in 2007. Roller derby itself has only made a comeback in the last 10 years, so it’s still a pretty new sport. We had no idea what was going on in the game, but it was great fun to watch – derby is definitely a spectator sport! We learned more about the rules (thanks Google) and looked out for the next bout. We’ve been to heaps of bouts since then, supporting our favourite teams and watching the league grow and improve.

Then mid-last year, Megan saw an advert for ‘fresh meat’, roller derby’s name for the new member intake. She was keen to give it a go, and I agreed to go along to the ‘learn to skate’ part of the training (I planned to exit before the bashing started). We went along to Shirley Boys High School on 7th October 2012 for our 4-week skills training. I loved it. I fell on my ass heaps, and it hurt, but I didn’t care. It was so much fun. After four weeks of training I was invited to sign up for fresh meat. I didn’t hesitate – Stephen thought I was mad. I thought I might be too, but went for it anyway. In four weeks I’d learned how to do crossovers, knee falls, various stops, and I was getting to grips with the basic lingo (PACK IT UP!).

Fresh meat training was intense. Twice a week all through the heat of summer we learned the basic skills required of a roller derby girl. So much to take in. Along the way, I got to know my 14 fellow freshies well. They are amazing women, all of them. I love spending time with them. We did our 3-hour long skills/written test on 3rd March, after 20 weeks of hard out training. The following week Megan and I went to our first Dead End Derby league training. We were terrified! Luckily they went easy on us (that night).

We celebrated our transition into the league with our Graduation bout on 24th March, our first ever proper game! I had no idea what I was doing, but it was amazing fun.

It’s hard to believe that I’m skating with girls I’ve been admiring (hero-worshipping) for years. They are such fantastic skaters. And now I get to skate up-close-and-personal with them.

I’m never going to be the best or fastest skater on the track. I just seem to have no natural proficiency at sports. I have to work really hard at it. But in derby, I think I’ve found a sport I can do well at. This might be the beginning of a beautiful thing.