Just keep breathing

I had a bit of a crash yesterday, and am feeling sad today. It all just became a bit much. The city I grew up in it such a wreck. We are all doing so well, but tempers are frayed and everyone is on edge. Getting anywhere is a mission, and I keep driving past buildings I loved that have been reduced to rubble. It’s disheartening. I can’t even think about Japan. It sounds self-centered, but it is just too big.

Personally, I’m reeling a bit. Too much change all at once. Getting married was a big deal. I changed my name. That in itself is a lot of change for me. But now my workplace is gone, and I’m leaving my home in two weeks, with no idea what will happen next. Nothing is stable, everything is different and it feels like too much at the moment. I need some familiarity.

Instead, I’ll just wait it out. Time always works these things out. What seems unfamiliar and scary now will be my new familiarity, given enough time. And in the meantime I’ll just keep breathing, and say a little prayer each night for our lost souls.

6 thoughts on “Just keep breathing

  1. Annette Quinn March 16, 2011 / 10:45 PM

    Hi Bebe, Loved what you have written here but remember that from all this change, great things will arise and when the new comes we quickly forget the old because life is for ever changing. Without that change we would never grow. The things that really count are the loved ones around you and trusting in the good Lord. Our souls are never lost they just have gone to a better place. Lots of love. Hang on in there!

  2. rachelahkit March 16, 2011 / 10:51 PM

    You’re creating your own new normal.

    It takes time, but you’re doing the right thing by talking about it, being honest about how you feel and turning to your support network for help.

    It’s all any of us can do right now.

    Big love and hugs

  3. Mama Bear March 16, 2011 / 11:38 PM

    There are arms here that will hold, comfort and love you at any time, as well as Stephens. Our beautiful city, how we know it has changed and we are all crying inside for Christchurch and the grief it has brought to everyone. We are all so fragile at the moment and need so much comfort and I find, just the need to be held in someones arms. We are here for you, and our home is your home now and you are welcome anytime you want to come. It will take us time to get over what we have all experienced but we will, with the love of family and great friends, xxxxx Love you.

  4. Erin March 17, 2011 / 6:21 AM

    I know what will happen. We will be there for each other, hold each other up, love each other and hold hands as we walk through this shit-storm. Things seem unreal but this chaos will slowly resolve itself. We will find a balance, a new normal. We will find it together. Love you, Bebe. Kia kaha.

  5. Julio From NY March 17, 2011 / 7:15 AM

    Stay strong. We’re with you in spirit πŸ™‚

  6. Bebe March 17, 2011 / 8:16 AM

    Thanks guys, they are good words πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s